Last year at this time, I would have said this was VooDoo. Yet today, I am contemplating something. Does the Holy Spirit, which has sealed me into adoption of the Trinity, recognize it's own?
Is the Holy Spirit in me able to recognize itself in another person? Another place? And conversely, can the Holy Spirit feel the void where it does not dwell...and be repelled by this void?
Those are weird questions... my sense of reason and logic chalk this up to superstition. But... my sense of reason and logic are buffered with intuition, spirit and mysticism. Even though I imagine the above scenario in physical terms, can it still be true in mystical terms? It seems silly to imagine the Holy Spirit physically retracting from a person or a place which is not sealed in the Trinity. This is like a cartoon in my mind where the Holy Spirit, predictably in dove-form, flies in defiance backward against a black void. A light emanates from the dove to penetrate the dark, yet the Holy Spirit will not "cast its pearls among swine."
That sounds SO judgemental. Its not that the Holy Spirit doesnt care about others who are not officially sealed, but rather that if another person doesnt get it, they dont get it. God does not force Himself on anyone, but waits patiently and persistently for that person to glimpse Him. God has such mercy.
Learning not to cast one's pearls among swine is not a judgement where we decide who we will be compassionate to and who we will not bother with. It is more about mental health and control issues! I canNOT control some things. I must learn to let them go. If I offer a pearl, and offer a pearl, and offer a pearl... but it is never received, then I will eventually deplete myself. And while I strive to offer ALL that I am and ALL that I have, I am still human and have limitations. I must trust that God will take care of the rest. At some point, if I still continue to give my pearls, I am merely casting them to people and situations who will never understand them in the way I have to offer them. I must let go and be willing to trust that God will provide. This isnt my duty any more.
In mental health terms, I cannot continue to control that which I never controlled in the first place. I can pour myself into trying to control the situation or the person, but this is only a harmful illusion of my creating. I do not have the power to control all of this. That is why we have God.
Today, I am given a hard, hard lesson. I have not learned it yet, but I am working on it. Working on letting go. Trusting. Relying. AH! That was the hard one- to rely on someone else. To rely on God.
That is one of our biggest needs according to Fr. Thomas Dubay-
SPIRITUAL NEEDS or OUR DEEPEST HUNGERS
• Joy
• Celebration
• Love
• Truth
• Beauty
• To Never Be Betrayed
I combine Being Able To Rely On God as the other side of the To Never Be Betrayed coin. Humans will always have a shortcoming where they betray or are unreliable. It is no character flaw, but simply a condition of being human. God, however, does not have this problem.
God will be there for the person unconditionally. And yet, does God, as the person of the Holy Spirit, grant us a greater gift? Are we protected by the love of the Holy Spirit from casting our pearls too freely? Are we tapped in to a new knowing- a deep, internal, and visceral knowing- that tells us to draw away from the void? Or at least to be cautious around the void?
I dont know how else to explain these things. On the surface, I know that I now feel a kindred spirit with those who embrace the Trinity. I would not say I am repelled by those who dont, but I am feeling a sense of awareness that I did not have before- A sense of judgement over how much to invest.
I can re-read this blog and pick it to pieces. This is not a whole picture, but rather pieces of the puzzle I am trying to complete. There is much left out about my belief in compassion for others, the wholeness of humanity in ALL persons. It is not mine to judge, but I can have discernment.
When I recieved the gifts of the Holy Spirit, some weeks ago, I waited for their reality, having faith that these gifts were not mere metaphors. I think that today I can see that they are real, tangible, and present. With God's grace and mercy, I will continue to see those gifts bloom, in accordance with His will. I surrender to these gifts... and am grateful.
I am reminded of Padre Pio and something he said:
"The life of a Christian is nothing but
a perpetual struggle against the self;
there is no flowering of the soul
to the beauty of its perfection
except at the price of pain."
And something a friend said to me:
"Look to the light
and let the shadows retreat."
Pray for us St. Pio.
Is the Holy Spirit in me able to recognize itself in another person? Another place? And conversely, can the Holy Spirit feel the void where it does not dwell...and be repelled by this void?
Those are weird questions... my sense of reason and logic chalk this up to superstition. But... my sense of reason and logic are buffered with intuition, spirit and mysticism. Even though I imagine the above scenario in physical terms, can it still be true in mystical terms? It seems silly to imagine the Holy Spirit physically retracting from a person or a place which is not sealed in the Trinity. This is like a cartoon in my mind where the Holy Spirit, predictably in dove-form, flies in defiance backward against a black void. A light emanates from the dove to penetrate the dark, yet the Holy Spirit will not "cast its pearls among swine."
That sounds SO judgemental. Its not that the Holy Spirit doesnt care about others who are not officially sealed, but rather that if another person doesnt get it, they dont get it. God does not force Himself on anyone, but waits patiently and persistently for that person to glimpse Him. God has such mercy.
Learning not to cast one's pearls among swine is not a judgement where we decide who we will be compassionate to and who we will not bother with. It is more about mental health and control issues! I canNOT control some things. I must learn to let them go. If I offer a pearl, and offer a pearl, and offer a pearl... but it is never received, then I will eventually deplete myself. And while I strive to offer ALL that I am and ALL that I have, I am still human and have limitations. I must trust that God will take care of the rest. At some point, if I still continue to give my pearls, I am merely casting them to people and situations who will never understand them in the way I have to offer them. I must let go and be willing to trust that God will provide. This isnt my duty any more.
In mental health terms, I cannot continue to control that which I never controlled in the first place. I can pour myself into trying to control the situation or the person, but this is only a harmful illusion of my creating. I do not have the power to control all of this. That is why we have God.
Today, I am given a hard, hard lesson. I have not learned it yet, but I am working on it. Working on letting go. Trusting. Relying. AH! That was the hard one- to rely on someone else. To rely on God.
That is one of our biggest needs according to Fr. Thomas Dubay-
SPIRITUAL NEEDS or OUR DEEPEST HUNGERS
• Joy
• Celebration
• Love
• Truth
• Beauty
• To Never Be Betrayed
I combine Being Able To Rely On God as the other side of the To Never Be Betrayed coin. Humans will always have a shortcoming where they betray or are unreliable. It is no character flaw, but simply a condition of being human. God, however, does not have this problem.
God will be there for the person unconditionally. And yet, does God, as the person of the Holy Spirit, grant us a greater gift? Are we protected by the love of the Holy Spirit from casting our pearls too freely? Are we tapped in to a new knowing- a deep, internal, and visceral knowing- that tells us to draw away from the void? Or at least to be cautious around the void?
I dont know how else to explain these things. On the surface, I know that I now feel a kindred spirit with those who embrace the Trinity. I would not say I am repelled by those who dont, but I am feeling a sense of awareness that I did not have before- A sense of judgement over how much to invest.
I can re-read this blog and pick it to pieces. This is not a whole picture, but rather pieces of the puzzle I am trying to complete. There is much left out about my belief in compassion for others, the wholeness of humanity in ALL persons. It is not mine to judge, but I can have discernment.
When I recieved the gifts of the Holy Spirit, some weeks ago, I waited for their reality, having faith that these gifts were not mere metaphors. I think that today I can see that they are real, tangible, and present. With God's grace and mercy, I will continue to see those gifts bloom, in accordance with His will. I surrender to these gifts... and am grateful.
I am reminded of Padre Pio and something he said:
"The life of a Christian is nothing but
a perpetual struggle against the self;
there is no flowering of the soul
to the beauty of its perfection
except at the price of pain."
And something a friend said to me:
"Look to the light
and let the shadows retreat."
Pray for us St. Pio.
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