One Chicken At A Time

The 'school year' hasnt even started and I am already feeling the pressure of heavy schedules.

I honestly dont know how people keep up these crazy, busy schedules and stay sane. If I cannot savor the experience, it is lost to me. Life is so much in the moments for me... and flitting from appointment to lesson causes me to become strung out like too many beads crumpled up on a string.

I say my rosary one bead... no, one PRAYER, one WORD at a time. Each utterance is a moment with God. I try to keep my life like that too.

One of my favorite memories and moments of wisdom takes me back a few decades to my early days working at a large animal veterinary clinic. One of the doctors there was famous for saying, "You can only pluck one chicken at a time." Quaint but true! The kicker is that before my arrival at the clinic, there was a young kid named Charlie, who helped out with the animals and livestock. And he became famous for belting out, while under serious pressure and stress, "Damn it! You can only F*CK ONE CHICKEN AT A TIME!"

Either way you look at it, its just true. Whether we are stressed out and mixing up our words, or calm, serrine and completely engaged in our patient wisdom- you can still only be in one moment at a time. Chickens can run fast, so hang on to the one you've got hold of and treasure it. When the next one comes along, you will know it. Just... stay in the moment you've got. Dont overschedule your life and constantly be flitting about. Be where you are. And make that as much as possible where your family and your Father in Heaven is.

White Cheeks, one of our wonderfully tempered Americana hens.

More Music

ahhh.... Sibelius!

What would be awesome would be to find Sibelius playing Sibelius! But really, this is seriously lovely!



Yum!



Fast and intense:



A little bit slower and more romantic!



sigh...



OK. This is one of the mostest favorite passages in the bestest movements of the most ultimate music ever. That passage from the mark: 2:30 to 3:35. Check it out. It brings me to tears every time.

Fritz Kreisler

Kreisler rocks. I simply dont know what else to say. He and Heifetz... sigh....



oh, ok. I cant resist adding some Heifetz!



and, ok. another one! hee hee! Kreisler playing his own composition:


and a little more Heifetz:


and a bonus: Sibelius!

Spiritual Direction for the Month of August

Learn more about Padre Pio HERE

Its always good to see my spiritual director, a small town parish priest whom I have know now for...almost three years, I think. Funny, it seems like I have known him far longer. :)

I have been trying to glean three 'assignments' each visit. For this month:


MORNING
Tape the morning prayers to the wall right next to my bed. That way, when I get up in the morning, the very first thing I see... and do... is prayer. Prayer before peeing. That is my new motto...but dont worry. I will try not to say it too often. The greatest desire to say morning prayer is in my need to offer up my daily sufferings.

NOON
Memorize the Act of Contrition. Seriously. It comes as a surprise to me each and every time I confess. I think I am so wrapped up in saying a good, honest and complete confession that I simply forget the Act of Contrition! So I end up fumbling around looking for a copy somewhere. I am good at memorizing, so this really shouldnt be too hard. The key might be in saying it every night along with bedtime prayers. A little-confession each day goes along well with an examination of conscience.

NIGHT
Find and schedule an overnight women's retreat for myself at one of the wonderful facilities nearby. I need and deserve to take a few days to myself and grow closer to God. I am feeling the need to do this before the weather gets too cold and snowy.

Padre Pio the Confessor

A Real Man

A real man uses his strength in the service of others.

Greater love hath no man than this,

that a man lay down his life for his friends.

John 15:13

I made this poster for my son. Printed it up just as you see above with the three pictures and the two quotes. I read it to him slowly, emphasising the words "man", "strength', and "service".

Its SO HARD to know what a real man should look like in our culture today. But I found this definition in Leonard Sax's book, Boys Adrift. It spoke to me deeply. I want this for my son.
 
I told him today that he is becoming a real man. He used his strength to help his Papa- to build a porch for our whole family. He used his strength in the service of others.
 
This little boy will become a real man. He is already on the path.

Dreams...

I. could. not. sleep. last night.

I tossed and turned until 4:30 am. No joke. Between caffiene, repeating thoughts, and general stress, its been a challenge to get a peaceful night.

Finally, when I did fall asleep, after saying the rosary for about the 20th decade that night, I dreamed!

I dreamed a beautiful dream that I was a novice. You know, a postulant- a novitiate! I was in a full habit, minus the wimple, thank goodness and I was training with a small group of other women in order to be competent... um, nuns.

It was actually a great dream! I have said many times since the age of six, that I wanted to become a monk. A contemplative sister is a pretty good gig too. I have toyed with entering the lay order of Franciscans, but its just not quite commitment enough. I swear to you, when the kids are grown, I am checking into the nun-motel and never checking out.

I might mention that one of the most delicious parts of the dream was when I was walking on the grounds of the religious community, and a secular flirted with me! Lol. That hasnt happened in about twenty years, but you know how dreams are. Yeah, it was flattering to be flirted with, even in a dream. But the wondrous part was how I smiled at the man with complete knowing that GOD was my all and that no temptation of a human relationship could diminish or distract from that. Nice.

And, OK. I also have to confess that (in real life, not the dream) the costume is very important in my decision to become a nun. Its got to be a good one. Like the Missionaries of Charity have rockin' cool habits. They really need to be a bit medievalish to my eyes. No polyester skirts, and definately a head covering. I want the full Anti-Monty if you will.

Yeah, yeah. Maybe these are not the best reasons to want to become a nun. But they are the perks.

Speechless...for just a moment

So, I am in the kitchen, sweeping up crumbs from the brownies Big Sister made and in walks Little Brother. He looks at me, stands up a bit straighter, and completely out of the blue says, "Can I help you take out that garbage?"

I was stunned into silence for about 1/2 of a second and then quickly realized that any pause on my part might decrease my chances of encouraging this cooperative and generous intent! I said, "Sure!" and Little Brother and I wrestled with the overflowing kitchen trash can.

Now, interestingly, something in the bottom of the can REALLY stunk. And Little Brother, who has always been sensitive to taste, smell, texture... noise, tone, slight breezes, and most other sensory realities, starts to wretch and gag at this point. So Big Sister came to the rescue, helping me tie up the bag and taking it down to the garbage can. Little Brother, after a small sensory-overload-panic, came back, grabbed the other, less smelly garbage bag and two cardboard pizza boxes and delivered them to the garbage can in the garage.

Honest to God, the boy just walked in and offered unsolicited help.

He is really growing up. Little Brother has always been conscious of the needs of others. But chores hasnt ever really been his thing. It seem so important that many of his actions are HIS idea. And that is fine. I work better that way too. A person who is generally compassionate is going to help out even when he doesnt really care to. I am so proud of this little boy. And I am proud of his sister as well.

All in all, I am pretty much the luckiest mama in the world. Somehow, someway, I ended up with the two best kids in the whole entire universe. Thank you God. That was truly quite a gift. :)

February 2005 ~ They are both a wee bit taller now...

Rearranging

The kids have been having a repeating argument that is escalating in frequency over the past year. They want their own bedrooms.

When we bought this house, we didnt think of it as permanent. Its only a two bedroom. We spent so many of our nights in the old FOUR bedroom house all sleeping in the same bed, that it didnt seem important to have separate bedrooms in this new house.

But the kids did use their old bedrooms for personal space, even if they didnt sleep in them much. Twice this week, Big Sister has wanted quiet time in the family bedroom to do crafts and listen to music. Little Brother seems to want it at the same time. (Why does this remind me of Anne Frank having to share her room with Mr. ??Dentist Guy??)

I have had a plan for a while. We have one VERY big bedroom that we are currently using as an office/school room. The plan is to divide that room in half and make two small bedrooms out of it. So here we go.

We need an overflow space in our small upstairs living area. So I have dismantled the tiny diningroom and made it into a library. The big table is in the basement playroom. We only use it for crafts anyway. We frequently eat on the porch table, or sitting on the floor. Yeah, I know. We are unconventional. The new library area is really nice, though. Six waist high bookshelves line the room, and one comfy chair- my grandmother's favorite- sits in the corner. I will have to exchange the light fixture, which hangs down right where your head should be when walking through the room. But I have wanted a small ceiling fan in that poorly ventilated room anyway. I think I can replace it for less than $50.00 and a favor from dad.

The bedroom will be divided by full sized bookcases, reinforced with some 2x4's to keep them from toppling. That will give us three bedrooms. Each will have a bed, a desk, a small bookshelf/toyshelf and a closet with a week's worth of clothes in an organizer.

The rest of the clothing will be in the laundry room along with the washer and dryer, and the shower that should be installed within the next two months.

I suspect that the kids' bedrooms will NOT be slept in. But its really OK. I enjoy family bed, and so do the kids. It works out really nice. But the kids need to be able to establish their own space when they desire. And finally, after two years of compromising, they will have it. No more fighting over the radio/cd player! We will have to buy another one. :)

Its funny, after moving to this tiny house, using so much space for bedrooms seems like a waste. Its hard to wrap my mind around the idea that over 50% of a house's floorspace would be used for sleeping. I much prefer the Japanese way of rolling up those sleeping mats into a closet so the sleeping space can be used for living during the day! Our expectations of privacy and space are so different here in the west!

oshiire

Washitsu

oshiire

Warm Fuzzies

Small Things

Small things today:

• Cream in potato-leek soup. Num!
• Lemon icecream at Dudley's, our local, family-run stand.
• Swimming and conversation with friends.
• Grandma waving Hi! while we take out recycling bins.
• Recycling bins filled with tin foil, plastic, cardboard, and cans.
• Little Brother coloring in a book of knights in armour.
• Big Sister helping care for the cats... and trying out new pine cat litter.
• Muppets.
• Holding a nine-week-old baby.
• Iced coffee with vanilla cream. (Cream is a foodie theme today!)
• A new book: Boys Adrift by Leonard Sax.
• A donation of parenting books to a local women's shelter.

Pesto Bread

Believe it or not, I have too much pesto!
I still have a 1 1/2 cup jar in the fridge from earlier this week, and more basil is coming my way. I want to use up the jar I have and I can focus on freezing the next large batch. So I found this recipe, which got fantastic reviews from those who tried it:

•1 package active dry yeast



•2 tablespoon sugar


•1/4 cup warm water


•3/4 cup milk, heated in saucepan


•1/2 cup pesto


•2 to 3 cups flour


•1/2 teaspoon salt


•1/4 cup finely chopped oil-packed sun-dried tomatoes


•1 tablespoon melted butter


Preparation:


Combine yeast, sugar, water, and milk in a small bowl; mix well and let stand until bubbly, about 10 minutes. In a large mixer bowl, combine 1 cup flour and the salt; add yeast mixture, pesto and sun dried tomatoes. Beat until combined, then beat at medium speed for 3 minutes. Add enough remaining flour to make a stiff dough.


Cover dough and let rise until doubled, about 30-40 minutes. Preheat oven to 375 degrees F. Heavily grease a 2 quart casserole dish with unsalted butter or solid shortening.






Stir down batter then pour into prepared pan. Let rise until doubled, about 25 minutes. Bake for 40-50 minutes or until deep golden brown. Remove from pan and brush with melted butter; cool on wire rack until warm before slicing.

I will let you all know how it turns out! Of course, I dont have a mixer, so will make it all by hand. And I dont have sun dried tomatoes, either. And, I am debating the wisdom of using milk, since I dont use cow's milk anymore and soy wont be the same.

So really, I am just going to use this recipe for an idea. I envision a basic French loaf with pesto rolled into it. I am not sure what the point of a recipe is after all!

An Echo of the Assumption

Picture Rosary

If you know me, you know I cannot resist a fun craft project! Especially if it involves icons and beads. :)

My group of friends often discusses the rosary and what ways we might say it with the most efficacy. We all believe that images help us to focus on the mystery as we recite our prayers. Icons are some wonderful images to meditate on.

I simply perused my icon catalogs, and gathered a few more icons online. I found one for almost every mystery, with the exception of The Finding in the Temple. For that I used a classic painting. I printed or cut out each image and laminated each image onto pink cardstock. I also added one for the crucifix, the Glory Be (a pic of the Trinity), Faith, Hope and Charity, The Fatima Prayer (a Jesus with outstretched arms) and The Guardian Angel Prayer. (Yes, I know its not in the rosary, but the kids like it!) All told that is 25 icon cards.

I simply punched a hole in the corner of each one and threaded them on a metal ring. The pretty decade chaplet is made of inexpensive glass beads and I made it from left over beading supplies.

Now any one in this family can say the rosary- or some part of it- while meditating on the visual images of each mystery. Fun!

The box is made out of a Bree cheese container with a Hildegard vonBingen mandala glued onto it. The picture rosary fits right inside. I secure it closed with a rubber band.

The picture rosary is stored on a ring. Each picture can be flipped around as one says the rosary.

The decade rosary detaches from the ring and can be left straight or put back in a ring with a small lobster claw latch. The sweet olive wood cross is from Jerusalem- a gift from my Catechesis of the Good Shepherd instructor, Mary.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hildegard_of_Bingen
http://www.hildegard.org/
Hildegard Images!

Small Things ~ Wednesday

With love for St. Therese the Little Flower, I hope to post more about small things.

Today's small things:

• A homemade consonant blends booklet for Little Brother.
• A homemade vowel booklet, also for Little Brother.
• Reading together on the couch.
• Big Sister writing a thank you note.
• Big Sister reheating pizza in the oven by herself.
• Big Sister putting away clean dishes.
• Little Brother putting away flatwear.
• The sound of birds, the light breeze, and kittens on the porch.

 

More...

• 
  
  Big Sister delivered mail to the mail box four blocks away. On foot. By herself. Free range enough?
• 
  
  A bike ride and exploration in the yard.
• 
  
  Bills paid, checkbook balanced, grocery trip planned.
• 
  
  Lunch already prepared from yesterday- just reheat!
• 
  
  Watching Papa pull up the car for Grandma. Gentlemen still exist.
• 
  
  Big Sister's butterfly find.
• 
  
  Little Brother's caterpillar find.
• Big Sister brought the garbage can in without ANYONE asking! She just did it! :D

A Very Small, Very Important Accomplishment

Big Sister, Little Brother and I challenged ourselves for a walk. One block. Baby steps.

We walked one block on the damp sidewalks, after the rain in the dark. And that led to another block. We ended up walking a total of four blocks up and four blocks back. Little Brother RAN the whole way, beating us home.

Its lovely weather, cool and dark. Our minds and bodies are freshened.

This Beautiful Goodness

In life, we are destined to repeat our mistakes until we understand them.

Its no wonder we humans developed a conscious and purposeful scientific method of repeated experimentation based on the unconscious and unwitting drive of our psychological makeup. Something tragic happens to us as children. At an age that we cannot intellectually discern. And we then repeat the tragedy- to ourselves and to others- until at some point we are shaken out of our habitual and unending experiment by some revelation.

This is why we use terms like "The Cycle of Abuse". We intuitively observe the tragedies acted out again and again. This is the negative side of our human nature and it causes great pain in the world.

The neat thing about this drive of ours is that it can aid us in learning. In fact it is the very drive to understand that pushes us to repeat the experiment in the first place. An event occurred. It didnt quite sit right. We seek to understand it with our whole body, repeating the event until our brain 'gets it'.

In Montessori tradition, as in the Catechesis of the Good Shepherd (Caveletti & Gobbi), we make special time and space for the child to wrestle with the concept or experience that does not quite sit right. We introduce the child to something simple, yet spectacular- a parable; a nativity narritive; the mixing of one drop of water in an entire chalice of wine...

There is built in to each of the Catechesis works a mystery. It works this way because God has graced us with Holy Mystery. God knows that we are driven by the desire to understand. The Tree of Knowlege kind of kicked it all off! In having free will, we MUST experiment with that which we do not understand. When a child- or an adult- sees the tantalizing materials in the Atrium, the MUST get their hands on it. People say exactly this every time they enter the Atrium! "Oooh! I just want to get my hands on that!" Not only is this a testamony to Caveletti and Gobbi's progressive works, but also speaks to the inspiration-filled content of these works. They are designed, and inspired by the Holy Spirit, to draw us nearer to God's truth. In fact, Caveletti and Gobbi didnt invent anything; they merely clarified for the young child what God has given us.

Where there is a mystery, we must enter. Whether that mystery is holy or human.

I asked myself this morning, "When will I stop repeating this crazy behavior?" while in the shower. (I swear the shower heats up my little brain cells and gets my blood to flowing so I can think!) And the answer came to me- a culmination of 40 years of natural learning, psychotherapy, spiritual growth - "When you truly understand it." Yes. That is when I will stop repeating my own sins- the sins of my fathers who invested me into those tragedies and faults. When my repeating tragedies are finally brought to mind I will get it. I endeavor to become more and more conscious of my actions and motivations, as well as the very answerable mystery behind them.

In the mass, we are also asked to become conscious- to call to mind the mysteries that God has given us. But here is the difference! In our human mysteries, there is an answer that we can, and shall understand. In God's holy mysteries, even though there is an answer, we cannot possibly understand them- at least not in this lifetime. And so we are drawn back to the mass again and again and again. Our desire to know God as He knows us is part of who we are. And we desire it so strongly that we want to repeat that experience over and over, hoping to glimpse a tiny parcel of the understanding of the mystery. God has graced us twice- first in that he knows we love a mystery, and secondly in that he gives us a precious drop of understanding at each mass.

There is something comforting about knowing that I can never entirely understand God's mystery. He is so much more eternal in my eyes that way. Its not that I dont want to understand- but that I somehow know that understanding it all would be beyond me. God has said, "Its OK if you dont control it all. I've got it, kiddo! But go ahead and explore because I have given you endless nourishment through my mystery!"

Thanks God. That is super-cool!

In the Atrium, we see children repeating and repeating a work- an attempt to understand it. Because Atrium works are broken into the tiniest bits, understanding can be achieved on a certain level. The child masters certian gestures or storylines. She understands the works at a basic level. But the holy mystery within the work will draw the child back all her life. She develops a greater and greater love for God- and truly an ongoing relationship. For this love is not a one time declaration, but a covenantal and ongoing dialogue with heart and mind, body and soul...  In each new level of development (which certainly does not stop at age 18!) children and adults continue to delight in the next discovery of how we can know God. What a beautiful state is humanity. He made us to know him and it pleasantly or otherwise consumes our existence.

Another phenomenom takes us past the understanding of the tragedy and into a new stage. This is where we discover that something very good has come from something very bad.

For example, an abuse victim discovers that he has, despite the tragedy of abuse, learned to become more empathetic and compassionate because of his experience. Or a cancer survivor now knows how very precious life is, giving up some of her previous trivialities in life. It is often said that suffering is a short-cut to God, and indeed these experiences often bring us closer to God.

It is not that the tragedy itself is good. But that, in the words of St. Augustine, "God judged it better to bring good out of evil than to suffer no evil to exist."

The Passion of Christ is a tragedy. Again, we are drawn to understand it, to repeat (anamnesis) it, in order to understand it in the context of the mass. But also, we are seeking what goodness has come from this evil. We know it is there and this of all the mysteries is closest to our human knowing. We have been there; experienced evil and overcome it. We have found the good- that silver lining- that aided us to become better people and better lovers of God. We know it must be found in the passion as well. And of course it is. The goodness that comes from the tragedy of the passion surpasses all other goodnesses. It is, in itself THE Mystery. And we can ponder that for rest of our lives.

What a wonder and a gift to have a mystery of ultimate goodness to carry with us all our days. Oh Happy Fall! that gives us this goodness to ponder. I may not know any different, but I am attached to the idea of knowing God is so good, so loving, so wonder-filled that He gifted us this Beautiful Goodness.

Little-Lent, Little-Easter

We are in the midst of the longest growing time of the liturgical year. The color is green, and green is everywhere I look! With all the extra rain we have had this summer, the grass is knee-high a week after mowing, the trees are looking luscious and verdant, and the weeds along the creekline are weaving their way into the setting as well.

And as much as I love green and summer weather, I am craving a break from all the growing!

In order to break up this growing time a bit, the children and I discussed the idea of having a Little-Lent. And that led to a discussion of having a Little-Easter!

Now, every Sunday is a Little-Easter. It is the day that we recall to mind and heart the Easter Triduum in the Sacrifice of the Mass. Not only do we remember Jesus's Passion, Death and Glory but we actually- in a sense- relive it; a phenomenon known as anamnesis. (This looks like a great Intro to Anamnesis in the Eucharist article!) And so the children and I discussed how we could celebrate a Little-Easter every Sunday.

First, of course, we celebrate the mass, as much as Little Brother HATES to sit still for the excrutiating process. But what else? How about Easter eggs?! Since both children LOVE boiled eggs, we will endeavor to make boiled eggs for a Sunday breakfast, every Sunday. Since we often attend mass unfed, this is a good idea. And chocolate. We must have a miniature Easter basket with chocolate in it each Sunday. And I would like to add a new prayer card for each child's collection as well.

I know many families traditionally eat the same Sunday meal as well. Perhaps this is something we can impliment for our Little-Easter. If we know the same meal is coming every Sunday, it becomes a tradition that is looked forward to. How about a crockpot roast AND a dessert. This will make Sundays easier as we will also have Atrium every Sunday afternoon. Knowing dinner is ready for us when we get home sounds great.

There is something very comforting in routine and predictability. Even Einstein supposedly had clothing of only one make, color and style so that he would not waste precious energy on deciding what to wear each day. With some things already decided for us, we have room for exploration, creation, and learning!

And so back to Little-Lent. If we start now, we will be done by the end of September. And that gives us two full months before Advent begins. There is an abundance of growing time for us. So of course we will cut WAY back on screen time. And we can start decluttering in the house again. We need to donate some things to Good Will. I will put some more thought into the Little-Lent and see what the kids think. But screen time and decluttering are two priorities for me.

We need to empty our cup on occasion. I know that at certain points I am feeling full but not filled. Right now is one of those times- I am full of junk food and my brain craves finer nourishment. So I must purge myself, my environment, and lead the children in a purging as well. The TV has been off today and already books, games and toys are finding their way off the shelves!

The Assumption of Mary

The Assumption of Mary

ugh!

Third day of training for Catechesis of the Good Shepherd, Level One.

I am SO TIRED!

I started drinking coffee again. It tastes wonderful! :D

I love the age of my kids. Even though I long for a baby and toddlers, my kids are old enough to be self-sufficient, and young enough to still have wonder and excitement for the world.

I was very proud of them today.

That is all I can convey about my day. Might I mention that I am very tired. Yeah.

Big Sister and the Sisters

Today, Big Sister got to hang out at the monastery near us. She wandered around for a bit, helped one of the sisters prepare the lunch for all the sisters (potato stuffed peppers!), hiked a quiet trail, picked up a few fossils, had lunch with a catechesis friend, created art with another sister, and lastly, sat in eucharistic adoration.

It wasnt really planned, but she seems to have had a day retreat- a desert day, so to speak. Tomorrow will be another desert day for Big Sister. I hope it goes as well.

Christmas 2005

What is going on? This afternoon, despite the heat index of 101 Fahrenheit and the sweat rolling down the inside my bra, I kept thinking about autumn. There is something about the slant of the sun this time of year that alludes to the oncoming winter. The sun, hot though it is, feel scarce, as though the shortening days are pointing themselves out and reminding you that darkness is on its way.

And so, as I drove to the library with Little Brother, I found myself thinking about school, mourning the exuberance of long days. The freedom of summertime wains.

And tonight, passing a few moments with PBS, I watched a craft show and felt in the mood for the crisp snows of Christmas. Mind you, its so hot and humid out that even at ten at night, I droop with the damp and thick. But eggnog and cedar boughs it was on the craft program... and a clever Advent calendar as well.

This sounds like fun- an advent calendar made from clear ornaments, each numbered and filled with a little gift. I can already imagine the children delighting in the mysterious gifts opened each day, as the Nativity draws near. And what to fill those Advent ornaments with? Some small parts that make a whole. Perhaps sculpy-made Jesse tree figurines, or prayer cards with the saint whose feast day is celebrated each day. And, perhaps two small pieces of chocolate in each ornament, for after all, it is a special celebration!

Something about autumn gets me to thinking about the precious time we spend out of the cold, near the fireplace. And that gets me to thinking of wonderful things we can share together; conversation, food, special treats of the season. Advent is a time of preparation. This growing time, or ordinary time, is a preparation for preparation! The cycle never truly ends and our growth does not either.

I enjoy thinking of the future. I know that life is good when there is something to look forward to. And a peaceful, interesting winter is definately preferable to fears of seasonal depression and spiritual malnourishment caused by lack of sunshine. I can crank the air conditioning, curl up in a chair in the evenings and plan for the holidays. They get me through.

That is the wonderful thing about the end of the season- it is also the begining of a new season. And beginings are fun and exciting. I will continue to prepare my home against the oncoming cold, for it gives me opportunity to create a special warmth inside with my family.

Christmas 2005

Tell Me About...

I want my daughter and son to continue talking to me. Our best hope in getting through the oncoming teen years is to remain open, honest and expressive with one another.

Tonight, Big Sister invited me to a date on our porch. She wanted to listen to the rain together. As we enjoyed the cooling gusts and wonderful drip drop of a slow rain, we chatted away. Well, mostly Big Sister chatted away. I listened and smiled frequently. But for a few candles the porch was dark and talking always comes easier in the comfort of warm light.

It dawned on me how very important these moments are. If I lose this kind of intimacy with my children, we are lost. It really hinges on that one thing. So I didnt offer advice, I merely listened and responded with assurance.

I recall something that my therapist told me. Many children will not tell their parents things that they believe might hurt their feelings. Children want to protect their parents from that kind of pain. And while I am working on having other safe adults for her to talk to when she needs, I want to give her the opportunity to talk to me about whatever she needs.

So we started a game. It is called "Tell Me About..." I pick some topics and she tells me all she wants to tell me about it.

The Rain.

Well, it's wet.
a pause

But I like the way it smells and its just so...so great! And I used to be scared and now I love it..... and on and on for another four paragraphs.

I listened.

Tell me about... Your Feet!

lol! They help me walk! But Mommie...... and on and on for another lovely and long period.

I brought up her brother and she discussed their relationship.
I brought up other serious and fun topics. She chatted away as I rubbed her feet and listened.

This is a very good game. I imagine she will want to play again. And she will be asking me to tell about topics she brings up too. And I will tell her- as much as she wants to hear- and then I will listen to her some more.

I love my daughter. She is amazing! She has so much to say, so much to express... Her life experiences may be in proportion to her short life, but they are real and insightful, and powerful. One of the things I love most is getting to know who she is.

Yes. This is a very good game.

Come Follow...

A labyrinth is not a maze. A maze can take you in many different directions, paths may lead to dead ends and you are constantly plagued with making choices.

A labyrinth will not do that to you. In fact, the labyrinth is designed to take all choice away from you, asking you merely to place yourself in surrender to the path laid out for you. Sound familiar?

Our Lord asks us to follow a path laid out for us- no predestined fate, but a wondrous path that depends upon trust, faith, hope and deep, deep love. Sometimes we dont understand why this path... or where it is leading. But if we trust that God will guide us if we listen, the path will surely help us grow closer in our love for Him.

This labyrinth is modeled after Chartres cathedral. It took a while to set up for the creation of it. I searched online for an image of the labyrinth's layout. Finally I found one, copied it, photoshopped it to minimize the lines, and then printed it on poster setting. I cut and arranged the pages to their original layout and pasted them to heavy posterboard.

Then I used Elmer's glue to outline the labyrinth itself, and sprinkled colored sand over the glue. The result is a ridge along the labyrinth 'walls'. The with tacky glue, I set in small river rock stones on the exterior border. I think it looks great! The final labyrinth measures about 28 X 28 inches.

The kids and I have found three fun ways to work the labyrinth. Use a fingertip or a chopstick to trace along the path from begining to end. Find a little figurine- a one inch person will do- and walk him or her along. Or guide marbles along the path. The ridges made by the sand keep the marble on track if you are careful.

I do so love wikipedia!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chartres_Cathedral

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Labyrinth

I have also spent some time re-creating a traditional labyrinth in 'human' size. This is an ancient form and can be easily learned.

Learn to draw this labyrinth here:

http://www.lessons4living.com/drawing.htm

Once you can draw it from memory, you can lay it out on the ground in stones. Or with flour or sand. You can lay it out on a gymnasium floor in painter's tape, like I did, for a children's education class. (I wish I had pics of that!) I would love to lay this out on my driveway! Or you could create this in your yard out of wildflowers and mulch... The possibilities are exciting to think about.

Regardless of what type of labyrinth, the point is simply to follow the path. Follow it to the center and then come back out again. Some people say they meditate while walking, and during the trip in they shed themselves of burdens. In the center flower, they feel the full presence of God, and upon leaving, they bolster themselves for the world outside.

And this might be a fun way to introduce compass work to the older child:

http://www.paulaggg.com/sq/ChartresLabyrinthChart.pdf

 

A Cozy Porch

Our home came with a nice side porch that was completely open to public viewing and mosquitoes. I saw its potential when we bought the place two years ago, and finally have completed the vision. My dad, who is an amazingly talented craftsman, wrapped the open patio with snug carsided walls and screened panels. I painted and decorated. Thanks Dad!

I love my porch so much that I enjoy showing it off. Here it is. And the bonus is that you can play "Find The Cat" while you enjoy the images of the porch!

to the left is the entry door. leave your wraps here and come on in...

this bench was a freebie left in the garage when we bought the
 house.  it is actually a headboard to a queen sized bed
that i cut down to the proper height. the top lifts
to reveal storage, and shoes fit right underneath.

i could not find a shoe rack that i liked or that was efficacious. so i bought a bookshelf at the evil empire for $15 and added one extra shelf. perfect for three rows of shoes on the bottom, and baskets of socks and mittens on the top. the great wooden basket was a garage sale find. place your keys and things here for safekeeping.

this happy little buddha greets you upon entrance to the porch.

dont see much here? perfect. this is an open play area where the kids can spread out with some toys to play out of the rain. by the way, the carpet was also a bargain- a nice quality berber remnant from our neighborhood flooring store. 7 X 20-some feet and it was only $30! it has been rained on and wet, but shows no sign of mildew or fraying.

a huge bin for legos, perfect for porch play. more are coming for a little boy's birthday...

the sitting area, at the west end of the porch. at least seven friends and one large cat can sit here for chat and iced tea

a rubbermaid tote triples function as storage, a seat for one or two kids, and as a table top

candles and ... more cats

an inexpensive adirondack chair made comfy with a weather resistant pillow and synthetic but soft throw

and of course a table where four of us can eat a meal, write, create a project...

An Egalitarian Boy

Upon finding that his Aunt could not attend his birthday party tomorrow, Little Brother's greatest concern was that she get her slice of cake. So even though we havent even blown out candles yet, and I hated to cut into the cake before the actual party, it seemed much more important to be willing to give and give fairly than it did to have an unmarred cake.

Post Script:

Before bedtime the eve of his birthday, Little Brother informed me that "Mommie, you dont have to get me a gift for my birthday because (and here he begins to cry!!!!) every morning you give me love and care for me."

And then to his Big Sister: "And YOU already give me a gift every day by being my Big Sister and being nice to me... except when you pick on me, but mostly you are just my Big Sister and I love you!" (more tears at this point!

What a beautiful child. This TOTALLY makes up for the times when he hits, yells and otherwise displays grumpy behavior.

My Battle With TV

This is why TV is good.

Little Brother woke up this morning, sick from a nasty cough that has gone on for the past three days, and wanted to see what was on PBS.

I wanted to say NO! Go outside and play! Discover worms and bugs and make a fort out of sticks. But... I reluctantly said Yes to PBS.

I jumped in the shower and when I got out, Little Brother was telling me all about the Hubble Telescope. THAT is what he watched on TV, a Nova episode about preparing for the space walk and repair of the telescope. In fact, it even featured our local hero, Scott Altman.

And now what is Little Brother doing? The show is over, so he turned off the TV. And he has retrieved his favorite construction resource, the recycling basket in our kitchen. With tin cans, wings of cardboard and green duct tape, he is now re-creating the Hubble telescope.

And guess what else we found!?
http://hubblesite.org/the_telescope/hand-held_hubble/pdf/pattern-intermediate.pdf
http://hubblesite.org/the_telescope/hand-held_hubble/pdf/pattern-intermediate.pdf
all this from
http://hubblesite.org/

Camping Out the Urban Way

Finally, yesterday evening, the weather broke. We have had hot and humid temperatures a good chunk of the summer, following a lovely and mild spring. As much as I hate being trapped in the air conditioning, we have been running it a lot the past few weeks.

I really start to go crazy when I cant hear the sounds of nature. Birds twittering, the crunch of neighborhood walkers, kids playing and laughing, and the sound of wind and air shifting... and this time of year, the crickets, cicadas, and tree frogs chirring away! With the air on, everything is muted like a staticy radio channel.

The kids and I could not get enough of outside last night! And when the bugs drove us from the grassy yard, we played on our screened in porch until past midnight. Finally, my eyes closing on me, I offered to camp out on the porch. For some reason, though this was a wonderful idea, I kind of thought the kids would say no, and I would be spared the cement floor of the porch for the night. But they both enthusiatically agreed! And this goes to show how much more relaxed we have become as a family in the past month as our burdens have been lightened.

Little Brother ran to collect supplies: a flashlight, matches, apples, honey - no, no honey on the porch! we will be eaten by bugs!, blankets and a Thomas the Train pillow. Big Sister chatted the whole time about how she wanted to arrange everything. These two siblings are like an old married couple sometimes!

We got all fixed up, played shadow puppets in the light cast from the street lamp, and finally everyone drifted off. It was marvelous hearing the night sounds as we slept. My mind and body are filled with renewal and nature. THIS is how we slept every night when we lived in the country; windows flung wide open to the night air, the owls, and bats, and coyotes singing through the night, and mysterious winds from states away moving across the openness of the prairie. My bedroom had windows on all four sides of the room (a wonderful design!) and the sun rose every morning by pushing gold through my eye lids, eliciting fond dreams of hazy bird song. Often the blue heron who lived in the creek down from us would awaken me with his odd, scratchy howl, and I would feel a part of that land.

I miss it greatly. But I would not trade this community I have here for anything. It seems I am either destined to become part of the land or part of the people, but not both.

City awakening is a jolt compared to the country. Commuters roar through the stop sign on our corner, walkers and joggers chat with each other or on their cell phones, in the distance I can hear dumpsters crashing and busses hissing. Its a different kind of life here. More mechanical, more direct, less subtle. But still very real and comforting.

I peeled myself from the too-thin pads of our bed on the floor, stumbled to the bathroom and then started up some pancakes. Both kids were still asleep at 10am, only a screen door separating them from the world. I guess we have gotten accustommed to these urban morning songs.

The Month of the Immaculate and Sorrowful Heart of the Blessed Virgin Mary

This is why I love my spritual director. One thing he assigned for me this month was to decorate my house according to the month of August: The Month of the Immaculate and Sorrowful Heart of the Blessed Virgin Mary.

OK. He assigned a few other things too, but this was the really fun one!

Here is how things look:

From left to right: A lamb to remind us we belong to the Good Shepherd, I great antique store find- Mary with a vase built onto the back, an icon of Our Lady of the Perpetual Bloom, a vase filled with blessed palms from Palm Sunday and a few other ikebana items, the Good Shepherd himself. Since our kittens keep running off with any fresh flowers, I have opted out of the bouquet.

Last year the kids and I made this box. It includes a felt doll of Mary with scapular and rosary, three Fimo Immaculate and Sorrowful hearts, a lovely booklet with the traditional and additional Sorrows of Mary, and two glass bobbles with the Sacred Heart and the Immaculate Heart glued to the underside.

Here are the contents of the booklet I made. You can make one too. Feel free to use or alter my text:

The Seven Sorrows of the Blessed Virgin

The First Sorrow
The Prophecy of Simeon Over the Infant Jesus
Luke 2: 25 – 35
Now there was a man in Jerusalem whose name was Simeon. This man was righteous and devout, awaiting the consolation of Israel, and the Holy Spirit was upon him. It had been revealed to him by the Holy Spirit that he should not see death before he had seen the Messiah of the Lord. He came in the Spirit into the temple; and when the parents brought in the child Jesus to perform the custom of the law he took him into his arms and blessed God saying:
“Now, Master, you may let your servant go in peace, according to your word, for my eyes have seen your salvation, which you prepared in sight of all the peoples, a light for revelation to the Gentiles, and glory for your people Israel.” The child’s father and mother were amazed at what was said about him; and Simeon blessed them and said to Mary his mother,
“Behold, this child is destined for the fall and rise of many in Israel, and to be a sign that will be contradicted, and you yourself a sword will pierce so that the thoughts of many hearts may be revealed.”

The Second Sorrow
The Flight of the Holy Family into Egypt
Matthew 2: 13 -21
When they (the Magi) had departed, behold, the Angel of the Lord appeared to Joseph in a dream and said, “Rise! Take the child and his mother, flee to Egypt. He stayed there until the death of Herod, that what the Lord said through the prophet might be fulfilled, “Out of Egypt I called my son.”
When Herod realized that he had been deceived by the Magi he became furious. He ordered the massacre of all the boys in Bethlehem and its vicinity two years old and under, in accordance with the time he had ascertained from the Magi. Then was fulfilled what had been said through Jeremiah the prophet: “A voice was heard in Ramah, sobbing and loud lamentation; Rachel weeping for her children, and she would not be consoled, since they were no more.”
When Herod had died, behold the angel of the Lord appeared in a dream to Joseph in Egypt and said, “Rise, take the child and his mother and go to the land of Israel, for those who sought the child’s life are dead.” He rose, took the child and his mother, and went to the land of Israel.

The Third Sorrow
The Loss of the Child Jesus for Three Days
Luke 2 : 40 - 52
The Child Jesus grew and became strong, filled with wisdom; and the favor or God was upon him. Each year his parents went to Jerusalem for the feast of Passover, and when he was twelve years old, they went up according to festival custom. After they had completed its days, as they were returning, the boy Jesus remained behind in Jerusalem, but his parents did not know this. Thinking that he was in the caravan, they journeyed for a day and looked for him among their relatives and friends, but not finding him, they returned to Jerusalem to look for him.
After three days they found him in the temple, sitting in the midst of the teachers, listening to them and asking them questions, and all who heard him were astonished, and his mother said to him: “Son, why have you done this to us? Your father and I have been looking for you with great anxiety!” And he said to them, “Why were you looking for me? Did you not know that I must be in my Father’s house?”
But they did not understand what he said to them. He went down with them and came to Nazareth, and was obedient to them. His mother kept all these things in her heart. And Jesus advanced in wisdom and age and favor before God and man.

The Fourth Sorrow
The Meeting of Jesus and Mary Along the Way of the Cross
Luke 23 : 26 - 31
As they led Jesus away, the soldiers took hold of a certain Simon, a Cyrenean, who was coming in from the country; and after laying the cross on him, they made him carry it behind Jesus. A large crowd of people followed Jesus, including many women who mourned and lamented him. Jesus turned to them and said, “Daughters of Jerusalem, do not weep for me; weep instead for yourselves and for your children, for indeed, the days are coming when people will say, “Blessed are the barren, the wombs that never bore and the breasts that never nursed.
At that time people will say to the mountains, “Fall upon us!” and to the hills, “Cover us!” for if these things are done when the wood is green what will happen when it is dry?”
What Mary Witnessed Along the Way of the Cross:
Jesus is condemned to death.
Jesus takes up his cross.
Jesus falls.
Jesus meets his mother, Mary.
Simon carries Jesus’ cross.
Veronica wipes Jesus’ face.
Jesus falls a second time.
Jesus comforts the women.
Jesus falls a third time.
Jesus is stripped of his clothes.
Jesus is nailed to the cross.
Jesus dies on the cross.
Jesus is handed to his mother.
Jesus is laid in the sepulcher.

The Fifth Sorrow
Mary Stands at the Cross
John 19: 35 - 30
Standing by the cross of Jesus were his mother and his mother’s sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary of Magdala.
When Jesus saw his mother and the disciple there whom he loved, he said to his mother,
“Woman, behold, your son.”
Then he said to the disciple,
“Behold, your mother.”
And from that hour the disciple took her into his home. After this, aware that everything was now finished, in order that the scripture might be fulfilled, Jesus said, “I thirst.”
There was a vessel filled with common wine. So they put a sponge soaked in wine on a sprig of hyssop and put it up to his mouth.
When Jesus had taken the wine, he said, “It is finished.”
and bowing his head, he handed over the spirit.

(We can kneel silently as an act of love for Jesus who died for us.)

The Sixth Sorrow
The Descent from the Cross or The Pieta
Matthew 27: 57 - 61
When it was evening, there came a rich man from Arimathea named Joseph, who was himself a disciple of Jesus. He went to Pilate and asked for the body of Jesus; then Pilate ordered it to be handed over. Taking the body, Joseph wrapped it in clean linen and laid it in his new tomb that he had hewn in the rock. Then he rolled a huge stone cross the entrance to the tomb and departed.
But Mary Magdalene and the other Mary remained sitting there, facing the tomb.

Stabat Mater Latin meaning “The Mother who Stands (Under the Cross)”
At the cross her station keeping, stood the mournful mother weeping, where he hung, the dying Lord.
For her soul of joy bereaved, bowed with anguish, deeply grieved, felt the sharp and piercing sword.
Who on Christ’s dear mother gazing, pierced by anguish so amazing, born of woman, would not weep?
Jesus, may her deep devotion, stir in me the same emotion, fount of love, redeemer kind.

O how sad and sore distressed, now was she, that Mother Blessed, of the sole-begotten one.
Jesus, may thy cross defend me, and thy saving death befriend me, cherished by thy deathless grace.
When to dust my dust returneth, grand a soul that to thee yearneth, in thy paradise a place.


The Seventh Sorrow
The Burial of Jesus
John 19: 39 - 42
Nicodemus, the one who had first come to him at night, also came bringing a mixture of myrrh and aloes weighing about one hundred pounds. They took the body of Jesus and bound it with burial cloths along with the spices, according to the Jewish burial custom. Now in the place where he had been crucified there was a garden, and in the garden a new tomb, in which no one had yet been buried. So they laid Jesus there because of the Jewish preparation day; for the tomb was close by.

This section of text has not yet been completed, but the titles of each joy have been. If I finish it this year, I will update this post. Otherwise, you may have your own enjoyable challenge.

The Seven Joys of the Blessed Virgin
Christians have celebrated as many as fifteen Joys of the Blessed Virgin over the past two millennia. Traditionally, seven are mentioned in the Franciscan Rosary and are noted by a cross

The Annunciation
The angel Gabriel announces to Mary of the conception of the Son of God by the power of the Holy Spirit.
Mary, willingly speaks: Yes.

The Visitation
Mary visits her cousin Elizabeth. John the Forerunner leaps for joy in Elizabeth’s womb at the presence of the Messiah in Mary’s womb.


The Nativity and The Infant Jesus Suckling at Mary’s Breast
The Infant Jesus is born in a lowly place. As Mary breastfeeds Jesus, shepherds adore the newborn King.


Epiphany
The three Magi find the Infant Jesus by the mark of the Star of Bethlehem. They present gifts of frankincense, gold and myrrh and kneel in adoration of the young King.


The Presentation of the Infant Jesus at the Temple

The Finding of Jesus in the Temple

The Baptism of Jesus by John in the River Jordan

The Wedding at Cana Healing the Blind and the Lame and Raising the Dead

The Transfiguration

The Proclamation of the Kingdom of Heaven

The Resurrection

The Ascension and wearing of the crown of heaven Pentecost
Assumption and Coronation of Mary