heavenly father,
what the fuck? seriously. are you freaking serious? you have a plan in this? a good plan?
it doesnt feel like it right at the moment. does that make me unfaithful? unworthy?
i know you still care. i know you gave us free will, which others use to hurt us.
but help me use my free will to become part of the larger plan of goodness.
you love us exactly as we are. you dont require us to prove ourselves, to make all the right choices,
to pray the right way... you love us- you look at us just like we look at our crazy-ass kids with boogers smeared on the walls and knots in their hair and scowls on their faces and you laugh and love us JUST AS WE ARE!
you are good with that.
so thanks for giving me the reminder that you love me even when i want to say fuck all day long. or even when i want to say fuck you god! i cant do all this by myself! now i am humble enough to ask you to please take over where i cant handle it. please just make good happen where i cant affect change. please keep my chidren safe and carry us through all this horrible-ness. help me remember that there is good in the world and it can come from the people around me. help me remember that you only allow evil to happen because good can come out of them. and help me to see that good.
a-freakin-men.
oh, and god? please also help me to say a more graceful prayer. next time.
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