A Good Day to Make a List

I deal with depression and anxiety. It affects me every single day of my life. It affected me as I woke up to a dreary, cold, dark autumn morning.

I NEED sun. The more light the better. And so when autumn blows in with its Indian Summers, gorgeous playing leaves and apple picking weather, I start to get scared. I know the sun will be with me less and less each day.

I dont want to make this the background of how I raise my kids. I dont want depression and fear to put dark shades on our homeschool, nor do I want it to suck my own interests dry and dead like old leather.

So I must constanly come up with plans. I keep the good ones, and let the poor plans dissolve away. One plan that I always know will get me functioning the way I want is to rely on NATURE! This year, I instituted an Outdoor Power-Up Hour, where the kids and I get outside for...yes, I know it is shocking... an HOUR!

Rain or shine, snow or sleet, if I see the mail carrier out, I know we can do it too! And today, with the wet, sucky weather, I knew it would be critical for me to get out.

It was simple. The kids and I put on shoes, jackets, grabbed an umbrella and a waterproof shopping bag with which we could carry library books. We walked four blocks to the library in a light drizzle.

Immediately, I was taken over by the amazing smell of wet leaves, fresh rain water, the musk of blacktopped neighborhood streets and something else- some earthy, mossy, magical fog from the creek. The kids did not notice the smells so much as the sights. Silver maple leaves had left deep walnut colored prints on the pavement- I think from the release of tannin as dying leaves decay. Each print was perfect as though it had been stenciled. They saw a few last brave snails shuffling across the walk with antenna and eye stalks pitched forward in determination. And of course the varigated colors of greens, yellows, reds and oranges of oaks and maples, a ginko! Leaves like this put the most beautifully bred roses to shame.

Thank you God for this challenge. This is a day when I thank you for my burden. You give me daily bread, and along with it comes my daily burden. I would not need the sustenance without the hunger. This universe knows us- knows what we need. But first we must agree to get out into it.

So in reflection of my half finished day, I want to make a list of good things that happened:

I took a shower.
I took my meds.
I ate breakfast and lunch.
I got outside for over an hour.
I stood firm about checking out quality books over twaddle!
Big Sis discovered the biography section at our branch library... Amelia Earhart, here we come!
Big Sis got to SWING on a BIG swing!
Little Brother found a book on China and the D'Aulaire's book about Lief Erickson. He IS a viking afficianado.
Little Brother got to have a nice, willing, and eager Big Sis to play with at the park.
Big Sis got time alone to read.
Little Brother got time alone to play "Doctor Who", his own version of course.
We all sang songs in parts and rounds while walking to the library.
Two city police officers waved to us during our walk. :)
Big Sis recited her 2X and 3X tables happily and eagerly.

We have more planned for our day. Now I look forward to it instead of dreading it. Meds. Nature. Prayer. Three more things for that list.