We met at the park completely unplanned. We both thought we would get the kids out for the last warm minutes of this autumn day. We both happened to be in the neighborhood where neither of us live. A fortuitous meeting.
She and I know each other from the mental health circles; she a counselor, myself a participant in one of her county programs. And we know each other from church; the Universalist Unitarian Church, known for its welcoming congregation.
We expressed our joyful surprise at meeting, and then chatted while the kids played.
"What are you doing in this neck of the woods?"
"... ah, an evening football party. Needed to get the kids out for a few moments."
"Yeah, we were at a catechisis program just down the street." I mentioned. "We drive by this park every Sunday. The kids were begging to stop."
"Catechisis?" she asks? "Catholic?" There is no accusation in her voice, just curiousity.
This is the part where I size up the person to whom I am speaking to determine how much and what kind of information to give. I decide that this friend is very open, enlightened, and has mentioned before that she is Christian. At the UU church, all major religions are honored. But it is unusual for members to claim themselves as Christian.
So I tell her the important parts: "Its a Montessori based program, focusing on the nurturing side of God- the Good Shepherd. Its a beautiful program where the kids focus inwardly to understand God."
We talk a little more about the program, and why my UU family attends. "My husband was raised Catholic", I offer. "Well, and I was raised Episcopalian, so the mass... it is important", I toss out there. And it dawns on me that I am very wary about telling people that I am both a Catholic and a UU. It also dawns on me that my friend is gay. With a partner. And four wonderful children. They are a great family. And so I offer, almost as an apology, "There are some beautiful things about the Catholic church, and some crappy things too."
She responds with ease, not at all offended, as is my concern, about some sort of Catholic anti-gay doctrine. "Yeah! Of course. Just like any church. They are all complex."
We move on to other topics and enjoy a good 30 minutes.
But I cannot help it. There is a reason I am leary about telling people that I am Catholic. I do not want them to make assumptions about me. I dont want them to think I am anti-gay, or militantly pro-family. I love all religions of light; there are as many ways to know God as there are people in this world. I dont think that any one is right or wrong. Catholicism speaks to me deeply; the mass, the eucharist, the symbology and traditions... I was raised with this and the high mass is what I know. It will always be my native language. No matter how much I jive with Buddhism, Taoism, Existentialism, or even Humanism... I will always fall most easily into my native tongue. And that is the mass, a very spiritual experience for me.
But it doesnt mean I am an extremist. I can have passion for the mass, the church, the teachings, but still focus on LOVING my neighbor.
So many Catholics I know can debate and condemn people who are gay. And yet Jesus taught us to love. I cannot always control my pride- sometimes I like to root for the underdog just because. But I try to approach each person in my life with love of some sort. And in order to find love, I MUST NOT judge them, their choices, their situations...
Nonviolent Communication has been a big part of learning to accept others. So has Buddhism. Amazing what a Jew (Marshall Rosenberg) and an Indian (Siddhartha Gautama) have taught me about Christianity.
I continue to find a deepening faith in Catholicism. I pray that those who witness me in their life will see me as one who loves and never judges. I will continue to work hard at that. But I am saddened when I wonder what someone thinks about me- about what I am thinking about them- when I give them my label of Catholic.
She and I know each other from the mental health circles; she a counselor, myself a participant in one of her county programs. And we know each other from church; the Universalist Unitarian Church, known for its welcoming congregation.
We expressed our joyful surprise at meeting, and then chatted while the kids played.
"What are you doing in this neck of the woods?"
"... ah, an evening football party. Needed to get the kids out for a few moments."
"Yeah, we were at a catechisis program just down the street." I mentioned. "We drive by this park every Sunday. The kids were begging to stop."
"Catechisis?" she asks? "Catholic?" There is no accusation in her voice, just curiousity.
This is the part where I size up the person to whom I am speaking to determine how much and what kind of information to give. I decide that this friend is very open, enlightened, and has mentioned before that she is Christian. At the UU church, all major religions are honored. But it is unusual for members to claim themselves as Christian.
So I tell her the important parts: "Its a Montessori based program, focusing on the nurturing side of God- the Good Shepherd. Its a beautiful program where the kids focus inwardly to understand God."
We talk a little more about the program, and why my UU family attends. "My husband was raised Catholic", I offer. "Well, and I was raised Episcopalian, so the mass... it is important", I toss out there. And it dawns on me that I am very wary about telling people that I am both a Catholic and a UU. It also dawns on me that my friend is gay. With a partner. And four wonderful children. They are a great family. And so I offer, almost as an apology, "There are some beautiful things about the Catholic church, and some crappy things too."
She responds with ease, not at all offended, as is my concern, about some sort of Catholic anti-gay doctrine. "Yeah! Of course. Just like any church. They are all complex."
We move on to other topics and enjoy a good 30 minutes.
But I cannot help it. There is a reason I am leary about telling people that I am Catholic. I do not want them to make assumptions about me. I dont want them to think I am anti-gay, or militantly pro-family. I love all religions of light; there are as many ways to know God as there are people in this world. I dont think that any one is right or wrong. Catholicism speaks to me deeply; the mass, the eucharist, the symbology and traditions... I was raised with this and the high mass is what I know. It will always be my native language. No matter how much I jive with Buddhism, Taoism, Existentialism, or even Humanism... I will always fall most easily into my native tongue. And that is the mass, a very spiritual experience for me.
But it doesnt mean I am an extremist. I can have passion for the mass, the church, the teachings, but still focus on LOVING my neighbor.
So many Catholics I know can debate and condemn people who are gay. And yet Jesus taught us to love. I cannot always control my pride- sometimes I like to root for the underdog just because. But I try to approach each person in my life with love of some sort. And in order to find love, I MUST NOT judge them, their choices, their situations...
Nonviolent Communication has been a big part of learning to accept others. So has Buddhism. Amazing what a Jew (Marshall Rosenberg) and an Indian (Siddhartha Gautama) have taught me about Christianity.
I continue to find a deepening faith in Catholicism. I pray that those who witness me in their life will see me as one who loves and never judges. I will continue to work hard at that. But I am saddened when I wonder what someone thinks about me- about what I am thinking about them- when I give them my label of Catholic.
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