The Grumpy-Gratitude Continuum

This Mommie is grumpy.



I've been getting grumpier all day.



First it started off with a hopeful morning interupted. The interuption drew away much of my energy, and my plans for a school day were short-changed. Rats! Something is wrong if my day depends on such a distribution of my energy that one unbalanced moment can ruin my day.



EXPECTATIONS. It might be time for me to reasess my expectations. When my expectations are realistic, I dont use up all my energy expecting something that can not be. That is, in part, what suffering is all about. Wanting what can never be.



ACCEPTANCE. That is a counter to suffering. And when I accept, I can turn my efforts toward fulfilling the role given to me by a higher power. If I willingly harness myself to God's will, my efforts are multiplied by infinite amounts.



GRATITUDE. I canNOT feel gratitude and grumpiness at the same time. So I can find gratitude for what I have, what I have been given, and what will come because of hardships. I already know that growth comes from hardship. Its just that the hard part sucks. And the realization of the growth comes after the fact!



PATIENCE. Its going to take its own time, not my idea of time.

What has Navajo Sand Painting got to do with the price of eggs? Just like Tibetan Sand Painting, it takes time to create the image. I might know what it is going to look like ahead of time, but what it turns out to be will be somewhat different. Often the painting is done in response to an illness or state of dis-ease. The building of the piece is the healing. And then the picture is swept away as impermanent. Gone.
I dont have a great philosophical answer for this. But I think it will help me contemplate and ponder.
In the meantime, I am grateful for Navajo Sand Painting, children who create, young women who are strong, friends, honesty, saltines and chili, a cheesy movie, gardens and underwater explorers, telephones, internet, and old fashioned written letters.
(Less grumpy already!)
And prayers offered up for a friend who is very sick, a friend who is pretty sick, and a friend who is not at all sick but feeling sad.