This book is such a wonderful affirmation and concise summary of intuitive struggles I have had in my 10 years as a parent. One topic of interest is that of reducing information in one's home.
It is easy to know that there is some info you dont want in your home. Like rated R movies, sex and violence on TV, internet porn... I know there are homes where this information is available to children and this is a form of abuse. But for most of us it seems a 'no brainer' to keep that kind of information from our children. (And hopefully out of our own adult lives, too.)
But some things are seemingly negotiable. Violence with cartoon characters seems allowable. Even sexualizing of children... as long as it is a cartoon or 'just the popular clothing style' it passes right through the security gate of most homes. Parents need to work a little harder to see this.
Then there is the kind of information that we parents set on the dinner table for open family discernment! I am quite guilty of this. I find myself discussing 'adult' topics within earshot of my kids... finances, frustrations, controversies and conflict. My children dont need this. They cannot truly understand it and there is a serious risk that they will internalize the lack of control they feel over these adult issues.
And a last point to bring out is that selecting information with a moral filter isnt necessarily any better. Even 'good' information can be overwhelming to a child (and to adults). We humans do better with less. With more, we often just want... more.
In the 1970's there was this popular touchy-feely saying: Bloom where you are planted. Schmarmy, huh? It goes along with those yarn balls everyone was making and passing out called "Warm-Fuzzies" I remember this with mild embarassment and a little of the longing for the sophomoric infatation with unicorns and rainbows. After all, we must become vulnerable to express such feelings of hopefulness and optimism. The people raising me had no such fantasies that life could be that kind of good.
As an adult, and now an adult raising children, I see the purpose of this hopefulness and optimism. And also of the pragmatism of blooming where planted. Frankly, we can always want more. And we will always be 'wanting'. But when we accept our human limitations,we can put down roots and grow. It doesnt matter where I am or what I have. I am still working with the seed that is me.
Moving on to information again, I watched Frontline's Digital_Nation last night. Wow. More affirmation that technology can be abused. It can be especially harmful to the young developing brains of our children, and doubly so for young boys. Technology, like alcohol, is not evil. But it is designed to be especially engaging to our senses. And as such, the addiction risk goes up. With the lack of psychological attachment in our western culture, we are ripe for addiction scenarios. Alcohol and technology are two items that are readily abused.
I have so many thoughts on the topic that I need to stop, lest this blog become a dissertation. The books have already been written. We just need to find them and read...and moreso, trust our INTUITION.
Tonight we are having a family party. We are going to watch two movies and possibly a few episodes of Star Trek: Voyager. (Star Trek is one of the few adult series that actually seems OK for middle school aged children to watch. The crew inevitably values compassion and cooperation.) And then tomorrow, we are going screen free through Easter. We have two weeks until Lent begins, then Easter itself, which lasts 50 days on the Orthodox calender. It will be May before we let up, and by then, Spring and Summer will be coaxing us outside.
I am prepared for a cozy night, cuddled up in blankets, eating carry out Chinese, and watching a few movies. Tomorrow, we will all experience the frustration of futility, as we accept a life without TV calling. Little Brother will be ugly as he withdraws from his constant, cycling thoughts of getting his next TV fix. Big Sis will morn the loss of SPORE, and achieving the next level. (Always another level, much like the one previously completed, but with new graphics.)
I will check my email once in the morning and once in the afternoon, with a 20 minute limit. We will on occasion check in with a homeschool project online or in my computer files. The computer is a tool we use, but very sparingly.
Wish us luck. But after about three days, it will be smooth sailing. We have done this before and it is always, as Kim John Payne promises, easier than we think it is going to be.
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