Its no wonder we humans developed a conscious and purposeful scientific method of repeated experimentation based on the unconscious and unwitting drive of our psychological makeup. Something tragic happens to us as children. At an age that we cannot intellectually discern. And we then repeat the tragedy- to ourselves and to others- until at some point we are shaken out of our habitual and unending experiment by some revelation.
This is why we use terms like "The Cycle of Abuse". We intuitively observe the tragedies acted out again and again. This is the negative side of our human nature and it causes great pain in the world.
The neat thing about this drive of ours is that it can aid us in learning. In fact it is the very drive to understand that pushes us to repeat the experiment in the first place. An event occurred. It didnt quite sit right. We seek to understand it with our whole body, repeating the event until our brain 'gets it'.
In Montessori tradition, as in the Catechesis of the Good Shepherd (Caveletti & Gobbi), we make special time and space for the child to wrestle with the concept or experience that does not quite sit right. We introduce the child to something simple, yet spectacular- a parable; a nativity narritive; the mixing of one drop of water in an entire chalice of wine...
There is built in to each of the Catechesis works a mystery. It works this way because God has graced us with Holy Mystery. God knows that we are driven by the desire to understand. The Tree of Knowlege kind of kicked it all off! In having free will, we MUST experiment with that which we do not understand. When a child- or an adult- sees the tantalizing materials in the Atrium, the MUST get their hands on it. People say exactly this every time they enter the Atrium! "Oooh! I just want to get my hands on that!" Not only is this a testamony to Caveletti and Gobbi's progressive works, but also speaks to the inspiration-filled content of these works. They are designed, and inspired by the Holy Spirit, to draw us nearer to God's truth. In fact, Caveletti and Gobbi didnt invent anything; they merely clarified for the young child what God has given us.
Where there is a mystery, we must enter. Whether that mystery is holy or human.
I asked myself this morning, "When will I stop repeating this crazy behavior?" while in the shower. (I swear the shower heats up my little brain cells and gets my blood to flowing so I can think!) And the answer came to me- a culmination of 40 years of natural learning, psychotherapy, spiritual growth - "When you truly understand it." Yes. That is when I will stop repeating my own sins- the sins of my fathers who invested me into those tragedies and faults. When my repeating tragedies are finally brought to mind I will get it. I endeavor to become more and more conscious of my actions and motivations, as well as the very answerable mystery behind them.
In the mass, we are also asked to become conscious- to call to mind the mysteries that God has given us. But here is the difference! In our human mysteries, there is an answer that we can, and shall understand. In God's holy mysteries, even though there is an answer, we cannot possibly understand them- at least not in this lifetime. And so we are drawn back to the mass again and again and again. Our desire to know God as He knows us is part of who we are. And we desire it so strongly that we want to repeat that experience over and over, hoping to glimpse a tiny parcel of the understanding of the mystery. God has graced us twice- first in that he knows we love a mystery, and secondly in that he gives us a precious drop of understanding at each mass.
There is something comforting about knowing that I can never entirely understand God's mystery. He is so much more eternal in my eyes that way. Its not that I dont want to understand- but that I somehow know that understanding it all would be beyond me. God has said, "Its OK if you dont control it all. I've got it, kiddo! But go ahead and explore because I have given you endless nourishment through my mystery!"
Thanks God. That is super-cool!
In the Atrium, we see children repeating and repeating a work- an attempt to understand it. Because Atrium works are broken into the tiniest bits, understanding can be achieved on a certain level. The child masters certian gestures or storylines. She understands the works at a basic level. But the holy mystery within the work will draw the child back all her life. She develops a greater and greater love for God- and truly an ongoing relationship. For this love is not a one time declaration, but a covenantal and ongoing dialogue with heart and mind, body and soul... In each new level of development (which certainly does not stop at age 18!) children and adults continue to delight in the next discovery of how we can know God. What a beautiful state is humanity. He made us to know him and it pleasantly or otherwise consumes our existence.
Another phenomenom takes us past the understanding of the tragedy and into a new stage. This is where we discover that something very good has come from something very bad.
For example, an abuse victim discovers that he has, despite the tragedy of abuse, learned to become more empathetic and compassionate because of his experience. Or a cancer survivor now knows how very precious life is, giving up some of her previous trivialities in life. It is often said that suffering is a short-cut to God, and indeed these experiences often bring us closer to God.
It is not that the tragedy itself is good. But that, in the words of St. Augustine, "God judged it better to bring good out of evil than to suffer no evil to exist."
The Passion of Christ is a tragedy. Again, we are drawn to understand it, to repeat (anamnesis) it, in order to understand it in the context of the mass. But also, we are seeking what goodness has come from this evil. We know it is there and this of all the mysteries is closest to our human knowing. We have been there; experienced evil and overcome it. We have found the good- that silver lining- that aided us to become better people and better lovers of God. We know it must be found in the passion as well. And of course it is. The goodness that comes from the tragedy of the passion surpasses all other goodnesses. It is, in itself THE Mystery. And we can ponder that for rest of our lives.
What a wonder and a gift to have a mystery of ultimate goodness to carry with us all our days. Oh Happy Fall! that gives us this goodness to ponder. I may not know any different, but I am attached to the idea of knowing God is so good, so loving, so wonder-filled that He gifted us this Beautiful Goodness.
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