Oh No!

fuck. panic/anxiety attack.


took xanax. still feel awful. DOOM is all mybrain can scream.Trying to throw mself into routine.

Shower.
Meds.
Call Dr. about starting new antianxiety medication. Had to wean off Lexapro because fucking insurance wont cover it and I cannot pay out of pocket 150bucks a month.

Its been five weeks since stopping Lexapro. Withdrawal was hell. Last week the withdrawal finally stopped. Ths week, I notice my anxiety has been building.

Damn. Better start a new med. Damn. Insurance. Why wouldnt you cover the med that worked really well for me. This is immoral on the part of insurance companies. Dont get me started.

Called counselor. Called MD. Have appts to see both in th next two days.

An amazing friend is coming down from out of state to help and visit. We love each other's company.

This WILL GET BETTER. (even though it doesnt feel like it right now.)

Havent had a panic attack for 18 months.

Started school day with kids.
Listen along to Penderwicks story for 30 minutes.
Chemistry- atoms, and table of elements. 3 part cards, text book, now kids are drawing an atom with the proper protons, neutrons, electrons. Should we make 3-d models next?
You have to guess the number of NEUTRONS based on the Protons minus the Atomic weight.

Little Brother did his Fred math.

Moving on to what next? I think US History, which we simply read out of the SOTW book and then go through the questions and projects in the project book.

KEEP MOVING FORWARD WITH WHAT IT IMPORTANT:
Engaging one on one with the kids. Taking basic, basic care of me and kids.

Breakfast was eaten.
Showers taken.
Kids want jammie day, so no changing clothes until later for them.
I am dressed and presentable.

Making tea- honey chamomile, with no actual honey. We are trying it without sugar in order to cut back on sugar consumption.
Maybe we can add some of our raw honey I just bought!